2.17 - http://eightyearsinazeroth.blogspot.com/2012/11/2-17.html
lest we get struck with a hyrdoblast so hard it will knock us cleanly across the instance – if not killing us entirely
Change “will” to “would”
Getting in the water was easy, but for whatever reason – jumping back on to the boards was an exercise in frustration
I don’t make a huge pause here between reason and jumping, and it isn’t particularly dramatic, YMMV, possibly a comma?
we listened in while he worked end the suffering
“…while he worked to end the suffering…” I would kill several hobos/babies/kittens to have that whole marathon leveling rant to listen to over and over.
I knew what what he was going to say.
“I knew that’s what he was going to say.”