The Sound and the Fury


#1

I dodged and weaved through a third set of sonic pulses and bursts of flame, relieved that Atramedes had not chosen me a third time. The honor went to Littlebear for this third go at phase two. At least he was equipped with the tools necessary to outrun flame.

“Watch out, comin’ through,” Blain raised his voice again, “Beep Beep!”


Outline for Patch 4.0
#2

Paladins could wring out a few extra seconds by waiting until the last possible moment, the bubbling.

then bubbling


#3

laser-like spray

I don’t typically associate lasers with a spray pattern…

which had burn Blackangus to a crisp

burnt

The transition from this:

Before the words even left my lips, Blackangus was alive again,
repositioning. Thinking on their feet, someone had already put her back
into play.
“Obnoxious Fiend is up.”

to the next paragraph made me think I’d missed something. I didn’t realize Obnoxious Fiend was part of the encounter rather than some act of “putting Blackangus back into play.” Maybe add something like “The next part of the encounter started with:” or “An ominous message flashed on the screen:” etc

I dodged and weaved through a third set of sonic pulses and bursts of flame, relieved that Atramedes had not chosen me a third time.

So was this the third time or no?

“Watch out, comin’ through,” Blain raised his voice again, “Beep Beep!”

Was Blain just narrating for Littlebear running through?

“k, move to blue, move to blue,”

Typo for Ok? Should K be capital if it starts the sentence even though its incorrect in proper English but common in conversation? Am I picking nits?

giving us a slightly wider berth to navigate amongst.

Amongst what?

shadow, flame, arcane and fire into the creature

Flame/fire redundant? Any other magic schools to replace one?

From that point on, you can’t even fool yourself. You have no answers. You never will.

From that point on, you never know when it’s coming for you next.

If you don’t want to rephrase here, you can dump the first instance of “From that point on” as “You can’t even fool yourself”, stands on its own.


#4

Fixed (beam).

Added clarity.

Fixed.

He was being a goof. You can hear it in the YouTube video embedded at the bottom of the post.

I think I’m going to leave this. He actually only says “k” in the recording. I’d like to keep ‘voice’ intact as much as possible.

We were positioned at the narrow end of a key-shaped room for this piece. Added clarity to the description.

Should have been ‘shadowflame, frost, fire, and arcane’ – fixed.

Made it so.

As always, well edited. My many thanks to @Dalans for catching these (and @klocker as well! He got one this time)