Samurai Shodown


#1

I won’t lie to you: I couldn’t do it all myself; frankly, no leader (in their right mind) should. Delegation is key, an absolute necessity. I learned this by Wrath, leveraging it by assigning certain specific tasks to officers and role leaders. But I felt I could push this a step further in Cataclysm, and did so by baking delegation into a new guild rank, one I felt we desperately needed.


Outline for Patch 4.0
#2

the reason anyone would want to grind out those factions were for the rewards – a few pieces of gear that might offset a missing slot of aid-ready equipment, or perhaps a shiny new mount, pet or other toy.

“the reason why anyone…” and I would go with a colon after rewards instead of an em dash

The new difficulty fed our hunger;

There was a new difficulty level? Maybe outline this for those not in the know, “The new difficulty X, fed our hunger.”

and casters had the tendency summon

“tendency to summon”

interrupting them long enough prevent

“interrupting them long enough to prevent”

Ozruk, a elemental lord comprised entirely of stone

“an” rather than “a” and needs a comma after “stone”

Because the internet is nosy, maybe you don’t want your Patient ID and DoB visible on those X-rays (and I work in medical billing, omg possible HIPAA violation)

Outside of World of Warcraft, reality kept my plate a heaping mountain to digest.

I may be picking nits but what else is outside of WoW if not reality? And I get what you are trying to do with the second part but it misses a bit. What about “Back in reality, my plate wasn’t just full, it was a heaping mountain (add “of tasks” or “of responsibility” maybe if you think it needs more?).”

So, I took advantage of DoD’s self-sustenance and took breaks from my own Cataclysmic exploration to devote time to administrative tasks.

Redundant with “took.” “So, I took advantage of DoD’s self-sustenance and focused on administrative tasks rather than my own Cataclysmic exploration.”

assigning certain specific tasks to officers and role leaders.

Also redundant. Either “certain tasks” or “specific tasks”. Also there is an extra space between “officers” and “and”.

What ended up playing out was a third type of player

I would say “filtered out” here only because the defining of different types of members is what “played out” not the actual third type.


#3

Rephrased.

After seeing how quickly GGs doxxed people (and I already suspected this long before the controversy) I’m of the opinion that a little HIPAA-related data on my wife’s X-Rays isn’t going to stop a person from getting the info if they want it.

So, I left it in for credibility, in the off-chance someone thinks I’m making things up (it’s possible!)

Concur, removed. I need to kill the cliche anyway. It’s far too pervasive in my writing.

Rephrased.

All others rolled up!


#4

With the proper measures in place, you can empower this vast majority to do great things, meet (or exceed) expectations, and cause your team to be an overwhelming success. These are the ‘Save-ables’, and they are the topic of this book.

Looks like a quote from somewhere, but no reference? PLAGIARISM!