Revised Topic: World of Lovecraft

2.36 - http://eightyearsinazeroth.blogspot.com/2013/02/2-36.html

His cheerful attitude and dedicated loyal

loyalty

Rocraw was not the only new face that I came to rely on it amid roster changes.

Remove “it”

Every chance I got, Cattledrive was rotated into progression, and was certain that the rest of the 25-Man team as equally thankful for Cattle as I was.

Oof. How about: “At every chance, Cattledrive was rotated into progression and the rest of the 25-Man team was as thankful for another resto druid as I was.”

re-arrange

One word.

I couldn’t ask for a more loyal group of players than Cattledrive and Rocraw.

Change “group” to “duo”.

By Hyjal Summit, they were both deeply entrenched into the roster, comprising the very few of the roster that were both well played, and geared to the tooth.

Surely out of 30-35 raiders more than just a few were well played and geared to the teeth? Also it’s geared to the teeth unless you are taking some more of that artistic license…

while she’s not here to defender herself

defend

thought-process

Oh god the hyphens. I think this one could go without.

And it perhaps it did

Remove the first “it”

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You mean 20-25, but yes, your point is valid. That sentence didn’t make sense. Rephrased.

I rewrote a few chunks, particularly the ending which seemed like I was repeating myself a few times. Also added some more artwork.