Revised Post: The Taming of the Askew

blog
1

2.23

But Kerulak was the only permanent one.

Change “Kerulak” to “Ekasra”.

and I was sick to stomach because of it.

“…sick to my stomach because of it.”

It was not a feeling of disappointment to be absent from the Morogrim kill, but more of one of relief.

Reads better without the “of” after “more”.

But gimmicks wouldn’t pan out in the long-run

Two words, no hyphen.

“Dalans gives me the hardest time, maybe you could talk to him…”

I have no idea, what you are talking about.

1 Like
2

Negative. Still talking about my character at this point in the paragraph, re: the only Shaman consistent from week-to-week…that now must be replaced (by Ekasra).

Changed instead to “, but more of relief.”, killing the “one of”

Rolled up all the other edits.