2.15 - http://eightyearsinazeroth.blogspot.com/2012/11/2-15.html
we would be far stronger that if we’d remained individuals.
“that” to “than”
Yet this would have to play out in order to truly understand what impact this merge would have on us, on Ater, and on me.
Are you speaking about “us” as you and Ater in the next bit or does “us” represent “the company”?
It was through heavy avocation on the boards of players like our own Bretthew that Blizzard finally swung around and fixed those gaps in gear.
I’m a bit confused here by this one. Are you speaking of boards as the Blizzard forums? If so is avocation the word you want to use as it means a hobby? Was Bretthew posting complaints on the boards that got Blizzard’s attention or was he somehow leading by example with being prot spec’ed as his hobby?
Although I didn’t pay attention too closely to their goings-on
This sounds off to me, maybe change to “Although, I didn’t pay too close attention to their goings-on…”
I compelled DoD to keep any volatile opinions to themselves, and by flying under the radar, were rarely the target of any public drama.
Unless you are taking a bit of artistic license with the wording here (which I’m ok with), you need a “they were” or “we were” instead of just “were rarely the target…”.
when their guild leader, Syldhor, reached to me.
“reached out to me.”
players focused heavily on the “fun” part, and no so much of the “serious” part of raiding.
Change “of” to “on”.
that fight is nightmare.
Add “a” after “is”.
those holdouts that stood their grown
“grown” to “ground”
I wasn’t able to them around.
I think you accidentally a word. Add “bring” after “to”.