Revised Post: The Different Guild

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as I bathed in dominating the meters on Supremus.

as I bathed in my domination of the meters on Supremus.

ever since Magtheridon fell to DoD’s raider a year earlier

I’m guessing this should be “raiders”.

problems they’d experienced with latency int he past.

in the

Even players that claimed to have never experienced a problem with their router in life

Even players that claimed to have never experienced a router problem in their life

I still politely insisted that they cut over to an RJ-45 cabled connection.

Not to be that guy but I’d probably say CAT5/CAT6 cabled as RJ-45 is technically just the connector being used.

bolts of red lightning

But…but…it’s fire? Swaths of red flame maybe? I’m picking nits. Also, you’re not supposed to side step the Doomfire, IT WAS YOUR FAULT ALL ALONG!

I snapped out of it, and and refreshed Vampiric Touch, keep the mana flowing back to my group.

…to keep the mana flowing…



Other players raid joined me in their disbelief.

“Other players in the raid…” or “Other raiders joined…”

A guild infamous for taking whomever we could push through the door, stumbling over our own feet, never mind the execution of a boss of this magnitude in a single night.

This is a bit clunky but I’m not sure what to change. I mean we really didn’t take just anyone which is what this might suggest.

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Meh. Removed the tech term together altogether. Nerd infighting takes away from the story.

Agreed. Lightning != Fire. Lazy writing. Removed.

I fixed this, but am stunned that you missed the double ‘and and’, as well as made no suggestion to remove the commas…both of which can come out (and have been removed thusly).

I see where you are going with this and have amended. I read through the entire post again and performed a ton of cleanup. The ending is now a bit more focused and polished.

Oh. Also added two pieces of artwork.