Revised Post: Downsizing

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2.32 - http://eightyearsinazeroth.blogspot.com/2013/02/2-32.html

professional look-and-feel

I’ve never seen look and feel hyphenated as one phrase but this is minor.

The lay of the timeline

Should this be “layout”?

a new unified road map was in place

I think this should be “put in place” to keep with tense.

as the steel wells and support girders

Should this be “welds” instead of “wells”?

Comes the drop.

Then comes the drop.

Logging in to World of Warcraft was more than leveling a priest or doing some dailies, I had the politics and drama of 600 random strangers to greet me on the other side.

Comma after “dailies” should probably be a semicolon.

My only experiencing

experience

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I’ve seen it without a leading conjunction as a particular author’s style, so I do it occasionally.

All other edits are in, plus I rewrote a few chunks, and added a piece of fan art, as well as a photo of the apartment complex Ater used to live at.

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as well as a photo of the apartment complex Ater used to live at.

Creeper…

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I dunno. I thought about that, but added the pic because I guess I don’t trust my description of the area. I thought readers might be interested to have something to visualize in terms of the area of town he was at.

shrug

I guess I’m also of the belief that while many people would never admit to being nosy, a lot of people secretly are. Kind of like when you hear someone’s died, and you say “oh my god, that’s horrible!” but inside you’re thinking, “so how’d they die? I WANT GORY DETAILS”.

…or perhaps that’s just me.

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Definitely not just you. And I was busting balls as always, who doesn’t want to see where Ater has lived, see the 80 car garage and the maid’s second house.