The hacker stuck to his guns so fiercely, that eventually I began to question whether or not Bretthew had, in fact, been hacked at all. Surely, he had no reason to make up a story like that? I mean, he was an adequate tank, well liked among the guild; a funny, decent player with competency behind the wheel. And we were making progress! Blain was back in charge of the raid team, and we were on our way to completing SSC. All lights were green, and doubt surrounding our ability had all but completely dried up. What possible reason would he have to step out of progression, cold-turkey, right at the start of our second wind?
The only thing I could think of was: embarrassment.
As a result, his alignment with players inhibiting progress rather than contributing ultimately led to the second exodus from DoD.
I read this with a comma after ‘contributing’, YMMV.
Second pass is good. What I want to know is, unless he had a major, over-sized keyboard, how in the hell do you need a loan to repair drywall from a hole a keyboard made? At the most, you’d be walking out of Lowes down $30 bucks…at the absolutely worst case scenario someone took a sledgehammer to the space between studs, a whole panel of drywall (8ft x 4ft) is $10 dollars. You could measure, cut, mount, spackle and paint in a weekend easy.
Maybe it should read as follows:
As a result, his alignment with players inhibiting progress, rather than contributing, ultimately led to the second exodus from DoD.
Thoughts on the double comma?
Typically with commas, less is more for me but
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