I remembered Taba and the excited dance and scream that followed his acquisition of Ashkandi. I remembered the day the final piece of Ten Storms dropped
Just formatting really: in the post Ashkandi is bolded and Ten Storms isn’t, should they both be? Also in the paragraph Consensual Worlds the slashes have spaces in some places but not others, see “world / server” and “min/maxing”. I don’t recall seeing this too often but might be something you keep in the back of your mind when making a final pass.
The experts, lacking that external validation – that acknowledgement for their efforts, were becoming resentful.
Since you aren’t changing gears and “that acknowledgement for their efforts” is extra information I would replace the comma with an em dash.
From a business-perspective, the costs of reducing the labor by re-coloring an already-created set was a sound decision, and allowed them to hit their delivery date that much quicker.
Holy hell, what happened here? Did your dash key get stuck? I don’t think any of the dashes here need to be there, I’ve never seen “business perspective” as a compound noun, recoloring works fine on its own and the same goes for “already created”.
I need to write my own memoir titled Dr. Dalans or: How I learned to stop worrying and love the comma/ellipsis/em dash.
Nope. One word.
Dear god man, what are you doing?
and provided a back-door out to personal responsibility
Since backdoor is an exploit I think it sounds a bit better to say “…provided a backdoor for personal responsibility…”