Revised Post: A Single Point of Failure

2.13 - http://eightyearsinazeroth.blogspot.com/2012/10/2-13.html

or is a specific person that raid can control

I’m not sure what you are going for here so might this be “…that the raid…” or are you speaking about “that [specific] raid” as well?

Ater wailed on Baron Geddon while the raid slowly picked away him.

“…picked away at him.”

I’d been set up – the target for whichever mage happened to be lucky enough to gain Geddon’s awful debuff.

A comma works fine here rather than an em dash.

Even amid the fact that Ater had set aside a very specific spot for a soon-to-be-BBQ’d cow that was away from raid’s harm, a false sense of control lingered.

Works much better as “Even though Ater had set…” I think I see what you were trying to go for but sometimes simpler is better.

IIRC, we were all let in on the secret, with you having gone AFK to handle something. No matter who got Living Bomb, they were going to blow you up but the story fits well for drawing parallels so no need to split hairs on that one bit and have to change it up.

And this is about the time you start thinking about putting a gun in your mouth.

"Wait so click on three…or click on one? Click right after one? Is there a zero? How long do I click it? Oh I can’t move?"
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH gunshot

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