Revised Post: 9:53

2.26 -

mana battery

I dunno, I much prefer “mana banana”.

He, in turn, would return to live via Breginna’s battle resurrection, and the raid would continue.

Its a bit redundant with the “in turn” then “return” but the more I read it the more it doesn’t bother me and there isn’t a good alternative since resurrection is used after that. But I’d change “live” to “life”.

The hope that was by being out of line-of-sight

This is probably just a style irk, I would go with “The hope was that” but I don’t recall there being any rules for transposing verbs and pronouns.

As close as shave as any could get

“As close a shave as any could get…”

1 Like

Not a style irk at all; you absolutely caught something incorrect here. Fixed.

Done a full pass on this, with images. Rewrote a few of the sections. It was still pretty rough around the edges, especially with tense.